Hello 2018

"LIVE HONESTLY. LOVE TRULY."

With 2017 of living happy and conscious of my choices, I’m marking 2018 as the year to level up. Weeks leading up to the countdown, I thought about what I wanted to achieve in the upcoming year.

I’m the type of person who hates resolutions and more about setting goals. Resolutions sound cliché and carry around this luggage full of negative hope (like you’re optimistic - but you kind of know, you’re going to fail - but you do it anyway, because everyone else is doing it). It’s sort of like dating someone without any intention of marrying them. Just pointlessly going through the motions. It’s a set-up for failure. AND I DO NOT COSIGN ANYTHING THAT IMPEDES THE SELF FROM PROGRESSING AT ANY PACE. It’s funny; I saw a filter on Snapchat the other day showing a broken resolutions cam. Seriously? We have trained our minds so well that we know resolutions are just meant to be broken. Knowing this, it’s the reason why I like goals.

Goals are positive. Goals are motivating. Goals are here to stay.
Goals don’t ask you for constant reassurance, they ask you for consistency.
Goals ask for you to put in the work, so when you’re done, the celebration is well deserved. Goals won’t judge you if you fail, goals only ask that you keep trying until you succeed. Goals don’t expire because they’re not bound to time. So, the ask is simple, JUST DO.

Set goals that will test you and push you, not ones that will break and discourage you. Set goals that will guide you to the person you want to become. For me, one of my goals this year is to “live honestly and love truly” in every aspect of my life.

If you haven’t been living under a rock lately, then you’ve heard the buzz from Oprah’s speech at the Golden Globes. It was nothing short of inspiring. But, one particular quote really resonated and re-confirmed all the energy I’ve recently been trying to put into the universe. She said, “What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.” Stole the words right out of my mind.

In this era where everything feels like smoke and mirrors, our grasp of reality has to start with living our truth and allowing our true self to emerge. Unintentionally, my motto for this year goes hand in hand with speaking my truth.  Several friends have asked what does the slogan really mean and it’s fairly simple.

Live honestly. We’ve heard the old adage, “Honesty is the best policy.” There is clearly no argument there. I believe living honestly means being true to you. It’s being able to stay authentic despite the noise that surrounds you. When life feels consuming, honesty is having the ability to remain raw and candid. It’s learning to live with no filters. And it’s okay to be unapologetic if it’s authentic to you. Living honestly means being truthful in your thoughts, your emotions and your actions. If you’re not sincere, what purpose does it serve? A lot of the time, we move away from our true selves to make it easier for everyone else. And it shouldn’t be that way. For me, living honestly is taking ownership of your life, whether it’s the good, the bad and the ugly. All of it makes me who I am and I can only try to be better.

Love truly. Love has been one of my life’s biggest challenges. It took me a long time to get to a healthy place with love.  But, I’m finally here. At the mark of 2018, I made a vow to love truly and that meant being genuine with my feelings. It’s about giving myself what I need more than what I want. I’m here to continue nurturing self-love and welcoming true love. It’s about taking all my relationships and letting the right kind of love walk in. Starve the negative, feed the positive. In 2018, I want to celebrate love at every stage and every angle. Love deserves recognition despite how small or large the victory. To me, love doesn’t always win, but when it does, it’s a beautiful thing. And I’m all about winning this year.

All in all, I am here for love and love is here to stay.

Thank You 2017

With a week into 2018, I wanted my blog launch to reflect back on this past year to serve as a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much further I have to go. In order to welcome the changes ahead, it seems appropriate to first give ode to the journey I’ve trekked. And to describe it in short, 2017 came jam-packed with many lessons to be learned.

First, it taught me how to let go of the things we want, so we can make room for the things we actually need. With more space, it made me realize, I didn’t need to ask for someone to pick me. Instead, the only person that needed to choose me was myself. In my mind, this idea seemed blissful and simple enough to achieve. When I had to translate it into actions and execution, it proved to be no walk in the park. Just like any relationship, it required the same amount of effort.

In a “Man in the Mirror” moment, I had to ask what choosing myself really meant. It’s having an honest conversation with yourself and answering what YOU really want. What are YOU trying to accomplish in YOUR life and YOUR relationships? Everyday, I had to consciously stop and ask, “Is this what you want?” or “What’s your goal here?”
And it was simple; I wanted happiness.

Well, 2017 made sure I understood it clearly.
Happiness is not a permanent state of mind.
Happiness is merely an emotion.
Happy is not a pedestal or an accolade we’re meant to achieve.
Happiness is a decision.
Every. Single. Day.
It’s true, some days aren’t always happy.
And that’s okay.
It’s not supposed to be.
Some days are angry.
Some days are sad.
Some days are frustrating.
And that’s still okay.
There’s a reason we are built with a range of emotions.
It’s called being human.
And 2017 taught me, it’s okay to be human.

Moments are fleeting, so be present and feel what you feel.
Just don’t dwell and get stuck with one feeling.
Emotions are temporary - treat it as such.

Life should be treated with a similar perspective. Anything can change. When life presents us with options and requires us to choose, we automatically think these choices are permanent. As a result, we pick the paths that seem safe and fail to serve ourselves with the choice that would bring us the most joy. This past year, it pushed me to think differently.

Life is a collection of choices, made of both good and bad. I know I’ve had my fair share of wrong ones, but the beauty of choice is that I can still decide to make the right one. In some cases, the choices that brought me happiness where the same ones that ended up being the wrong choice. But that’s okay. Why? Because when I recognized how the decision no longer served my well-being and how it was negatively affecting my life, I knew another decision would present itself. I could either own it and move forward or stay in a rut. 2017 taught me how to always choose the former. In truth, no one is ever really stuck; it’s more about how we react to situations and emotions. Personally, I learned to be unapologetic about my choices because they ultimately contribute to a well-rounded perspective of what I define as MY life and the life that surrounds me.

Above all, in this “I pick me” journey, I learned the importance of self-love. In my darkest and loneliest hours, when I needed someone to be there, I realized the only person there was me. In my moments of bliss, when I wanted to share my excitement and joy, I realized no one really cared but me. I admit, there were times, I felt so utterly alone. But, I surprisingly found beauty in the solitude. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re sad, being alone means you are satisfied in your own company. I realized I didn’t need others to justify or acknowledge my existence, I was enough to acknowledge my own. At the same time, it doesn’t mean completely shutting others out of your life. It’s important to welcome the company who choose to be with you. Let love walk in when it wants, just don’t demand it.

Wrapping up, I thank 2017 for being filled with many highs and many lows. It showed me there is beauty in the places we least expect. We are the roses that grow from our own concretes. The seeds of love are fundamentally rooted in the self. To positively share ourselves with the world, let us love and nurture who we are first. In the greatest time to be alive, I’m so excited to see where love can take us next.

Cheers. & Happy New Year!